That's when you crack a 10am beer
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
