im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
