I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
