around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
