hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize