We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
