google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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