Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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