I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
