Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
