when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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