But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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