I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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