Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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