You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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