So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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