you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
