Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
