Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize