Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
