guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize