Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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