my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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