You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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