So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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