it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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