She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
BRING THE BAGELS
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
