First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
