i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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