isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
