At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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