My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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