check it out our google latitudes are spooning
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize