it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
we're so committed to being not committed
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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