how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
