now i know why i became what i already was.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
