Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
she peed on how many people?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
