We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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