Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
