Apparently you make a good broom.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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