What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
