Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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