May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
