around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Randomize