i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
