did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
