im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
