About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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