woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
