I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
