well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
