whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
