officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
