i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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