Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
