where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
