I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
