guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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