dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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